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Inventos para bebés que parecen sacados de una película de terror

13 junio 2013 - 11:37 - Autor:

Quien sea padre o madre sabrá perfectamente que criar un hijo no es tarea fácil, especialmente cuando se es novato y además escasea la paciencia hacia los seres humanos más pequeños e indefensos.

La necesidad agudiza el ingenio, y de la complicada tarea de criar a nuestros vástagos, muchos ingeniosos del planeta tuvieron en su día una revelación y se pusieron manos a la obra para diseñar y patentar artilugios que facilitasen la tarea de ser madre o padre.

Convencidos de que los progenitores, desesperados, acudieran en masa a comprar estos inventos y ganarían millones, sus creadores gastaron miles de dólares en las patentes, sin pararse a pensar por un solo segundo que sus creaciones parecen sacadas de una película de terror.

Muñeco para mostrar el pelo y los dientes reales de los niños

¿Por qué no realizar un muñeco de tu hijo con los dientes de leche y los mechones de pelo sobrantes para decorar el salón? Porque, sencillamente, es descabellado y siniestro, una idea digna de las mentes más retorcidas. Pero bueno, que no se diga que no es original. Eso sí, no vayas enseñándolo por ahí si no quieres acabar en un hospital psiquiátrico.

Grilletes para bebés

Si echas de menos aquellos días en los que tu pequeño se desplazaba gateando de un lugar a otro sin apenas molestar, con estos grilletes conseguirás que no se mueva con tanta soltura como para que te haga perder la cabeza. Este invento fue patentado en EE.UU. en 1953 y, teóricamente, el objetivo era evitar que los niños corretearan o andasen subiéndose por todas partes de la casa. Pero visto que no tuvo éxito, alguien decidió adaptarlo para trasladar a prisioneros peligrosos de un lado a otro. ¿Verdad que pone los pelos de punta?

Sistema de sujeción de chupetes

¿Harto de que a tu bebé se le caiga constantemente el chupete y tengas que andar poniéndoselo para que deje de berrear? Pues no pasa nada, engánchaselo a su cráneo mediante unas tiras de goma y ya está, al más puro estilo BDSM.  Este sistema posee unas tiras que se acoplan a las orejas del bebé y de ahí al chupete, para que no se caiga, aportando a tu bebé una espeluznante imagen de Hannibal Lecter infantil.

Aparato para facilitar el nacimiento del bebé mediante el uso de la fuerza centrífuga

Solo con leer el nombre del invento se te eriza el vello, y ya si ves la imagen, palideces y empiezas a cuestionarte el juicio de los sujetos que lo idearon.  A Geroge B. y Charlotte E. Blonsky les pareció una idea genial atar a las parturientas a una cama que gira hasta que el bebé sale despedido de las entrañas de la madre hasta llegar a parar a una red colocada a pocos centímetros de la parte inferior de la mujer. Un invento “para las mujeres más civilizadas”, según sus creadores, que puedes conocer en detalle en esta anotación que le dedicamos en su día: La extraña máquina de partos por fuerza centrífuga.

Cerco de cama para bebés

Si te gusta dormir junto a tu bebé en la cama pero temes asfixiarlo al girarte sobre él, este invento es para ti. La idea, en teoría parece buena y podría salvar la vida de muchos niños; pero encerrar al chiquillo en una jaula en forma de medio huevo podría acabar traumatizándolo al crecer pensando que es un mejillón.

Máquina para dar palmaditas

Siéntate en el sofá a ver la tele y deja que esta siniestra máquina de palmaditas en el culete a tu bebé para que se duerma mientras disfrutas de tu serie favorita. Para aquellos progenitores que no creen en las bondades del contacto físico marternofilial, este artilugio es ideal.  Sólo hay que asegurarse de ajustar adecuadamente la velocidad e intensidad del aparato o que no se nos vaya de las manos, para no tener que dar explicaciones difíciles de creer ante los de servicios sociales.

La jaula que se cuelga en la ventana para airear a los críos

Esta patente se concedió en EE.UU. el 13 de marzo de 1923 y en ella se lee: “con los hechos a la vista, el propósito es proporcionar un artículo para bebés y niños pequeños, que se suspende en el exterior de un edificio, en donde el niño o joven puede ser colocado”. Su inventora, Emma Read, de Spokane, en Washington, afirmaba que la jaula de bebés estaba diseñada para adosarse al marco de una ventana y que la estructura saliera por la fachada del edificio. Así el bebé tendría acceso a aire fresco y luz solar a través de la jaula de alambre. Y todavía le quedaría espacio suficiente para trastear con sus juguetes antes de precipitarse al vacío.

Vía: CrackedGoogle Patents Y Futuretech 1 y 2

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“Solo con leer el nombre del invento se te eriza el bello”.
¿El bello? ¿Quién es el bello, el bebé?
¡Esa ortografía!

yo de niño me tiré de mi cuna, no es broma y me sujetaron en el aire, y gracias a mi abuelita que me sujetó estoy vivo, es decir no me parecen descabellados esos inventos, es para niños traviesoso como yo hace 22 años.

Pues si que están sacados de una película de horror, es mas de los locos Adams jajajaja. hablando de inventos les comparto estos 15 para hace la vida mas fácil. http://zibertronicos.blogspot.com/2013/06/15-inventos-caseros-que-te-haran-la-vida-mas-facil.html

esto es peligroso imaginaros que no esta bien agarrado y el bebe esta dentro además se pueden hacer daño con los alambres esto no es seguro

vello lo pone con v

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