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Una mascota fea de cojones

8 mayo 2013 - 9:28 - Autor:

Si creías que lo habías visto todo en muñecos espantosos, prepárate a conocer al Señor Bolas

Cuando crees que has tocado fondo en el diseño de mascotas siempre se puede escarbar un poco más. La Asociación de Asistencia a Personas con Cáncer, de Brasil, ha parido al Señor Bolas, probablemente la mascota más fea de todos los tiempos, un segmento en el que la competencia es feroz, como veremos a continuación.

El bicho aparece medio escondido en una galería de fotos en la página web de la AAPEC, durante un festival celebrado en Viçoca, pero llamó la atención de Gawker, que apodó al engendro como Mr. Balls, el señor Bolas. “Pequeños y mayores estuvieron encantados haciéndose fotos con  la mascota, una encantadora figura con forma de testículo”, asegura la página.

A continuación, una galería de las peores mascotas de ayer, hoy y siempre:

Mexi Llón

¿Sueñan los mejillones con bicicletas eléctricas? Qué importa: el hecho de que la Vuelta Ciclista a España empiece en Pontevedra es motivo suficiente para la génesis de la que será la primera mascota oficial de la ronda ciclista. En la meta de las etapas en Galicia, “niños y mayores podrán un jugar con un mejillón a tamaño real”. Glups.

Roelio (Pontevedra CF)

Con un par de huevos. Porque eso es lo que parece la cabeza de Roelio, la mascota del Pontevedra CF, aunque supuestamente representa un hueso. ¿Hueso o huevos? Tú decides, aunque hay que tener valor para trabajar dentro de ese disfraz…

Izzy (JJOO Atlanta 96)

El bicho que animó a los niños a gastar en merchandising durante Atlanta 96 se llamó inicialmente Whatizit? (¿qué demonios es eso?), un nombre que por cierto le venía al pelo a un ser macrocéfalo y de ojos saltones. Izzy, como se llamó definitivamente el sustituto de Coby, se convirtió en el hazmerreír de medio mundo y fue apodado por la prensa “El espermatozoide en playeras”.

El Cardenal (Universidad de Stanford)

El primer mandamiento del decálogo de la buena mascota dicta que debe provenir del reino animal. Sólo en casos extremos se recurrirá a los reinos vegetal y mineral. El pino de Stanford (inopinadamente llamado “El Cardenal”) será feo, sí, pero cómo se lo monta…

Bandeonito (Juegos Sudamericanos Buenos Aires 2006)

Podemos entender que los porteños estén orgullosos de su bandoneón, ese acordeón pequeño que suena en todo tango que se precie, pero de ahí a vestirle con los colores de la bandera argentina y convertirle en mascota de los Juegos Sudamericanos va un tramo más ancho que el Río de la Plata.

Olly, Syd y Millie (JJOO Sidney 2000)

La extravagante fauna australiana debió resultar todo un reto a la hora de diseñar la mascota de Sidney 2000. En lugar de tirar por la calle de en medio y presentar un canguro, que era lo que todos esperábamos, los aussies se marcaron un trío bizarro, compuesto por un ornitorrinco, un kookaburra y un equidna. No nos preguntéis quién es quién.

Pottermus (Stoke City FC)

Dodotis se hartó a vender pañales con Pippo, pero tenía una buena excusa: sus clientes eran niños y, por tanto, aún no sabían que los hipopótamos son unos bichos voraces y agresivos. Pottermus, la mascota del equipo inglés Stoke City calza largas pestañas y tiene novia: la grácil Pottermiss.

Big Green (Universidad de Dartmouth)

Sólo hay una cosa peor que convertir una planta en mascota: sacarlo del armario de la limpieza. Es lo que hizo algún lumbreras de la Universidad de Dartmouth: disfrazar a un alumno de cubo con fregona incorporada para avergonzar a la afición local.

Guaso (Chile 91)

Feo hasta en el nombre. Así era la mascota de la Copa América que se celebró en Chile en 1991: un “guaso”, que no es alguien especialmente dicharachero sino el equivalente al gaucho argentino en Chile. Guaso era una suerte de futbolista desdibujado (con rotulador de punta gorda) que avanzaba a trompicones empujando un balón.

Goleo (Mundial Alemania 2006)

¿Te acuerdas de Goleo? Sí, hombre, un león con la camiseta de la selección alemana que siempre iba acompañada por un balón con ojos (Pille). ¿No, verdad? Pues Jim Henson sí que se acuerda: se llevó 250.000 euros de vellón por diseñar a la pareja, la mascota más fea de los mundiales si no fuera por…

Ciaio (Mundial Italia 1990)

¡¿Pero qué diantres es esto?! ¿El país más diseñoso del mundo representado por una especie de Lego escleriótico y rematado por un balón de fútbol a modo de cabeza? Sí, amigos, Ciaio tiene el dudoso honor de ser la mascota más fea de la historia de los Mundiales. Arriverderci, Ciaio!

Visto en Parece el Mundo Today, con información e imágenes de  Mi BrújulaAyoyao, Blog de Viajes, De Putín y Café Fútbol.

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Solo una precisión: dartmouth no tiene mascota. Big green es su apodo, por así decirlo. El tipo que sale disfrazado no lleva un traje de cubo de fregar, sino de barril de cerveza (‘keg’). Los estudiantes de esa universidad, que inspiró a los guionistas de Desmadre a la americana, se jactan de trasegar en sus fraternidades grandes cantidades de cerveza, y el disfraz sin duda responde a ese orgullo patrio que exhiben en las competiciones deportivas.

Jim Henson no creo que se acuerde de Goleo, porque murió en 1990 (Jim, no Goleo)

Ya fuese por un exceso de emoción mal interpretado en el momento de su presentación; por un error de sintaxis o por un malentendido de los de toda la vida, el caso es que Mexi-llón creado para promocionar el consumo de este producto entre los jóvenes aprovechando el tirón de La Vuelta que sale y circulará por Galicia, fue empujado al cometido de representar a La Vuelta Ciclista sin estar ideado para ello y excediendo sus posibilidades. Si estamos ante un caso de Marketing basado en la confusión o un error vulgar y corriente solo el tiempo dirá.

jim henson (creador de los muppets) creó a goleo en 1985… saludos!

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Ahora que el lobby feminazi está tanto con lo de la igualdad, bueno, “su” igualdad, lo que es lo mismo, dejar al hombre a la altura del betún en todo, pero eso sín, sin dejar su rol de eternas plañideras y lloronas de moco tendido con eso de que son víctimas de no sé qué en la sociedad. Serán víctimas de su propia prepotencia y arrogancia, creo yo. Pues lo dicho, ahora que está en boga eso de la “igualdá”, espero que pronto salga como contrapartidad una mascota con forma de lindo chumino peludo. Con sus labios y tó, y con su pelito también. SE le podría bautizar como Miss Chuminillo, por ejemplo. O Miss Almeja, también. Todo sea por la “igualdá”. ;)

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